Dear Scott,
Thanks for sending on your blog and essay!
I chose not to filter my insights through AI, so I thank you in advance for accepting the human imperfections.
I was happy to read your response to Canadian friends who have negative feelings brewing against our present U.S. Administration.
Your blog was very well laid out and quite comprehensive concerning the U.S.’s global trade role and the disproportionate financial impact on our tax payers.
You have laid the first bricks of a structure to guide us in navigating difficult discussions while integrating Heroic principles.
Most importantly, your end goal was to build stronger relationships through respect and understanding.
Big topic – where to start?
As I was reading through the extensive facts and figures, the question that kept popping up in my mind was, “what were the concerns of your Canadian friends to have prompted this style of response?”
From what the reader understands, your friends are feeling “genuinely hurt” and have a “sense of feeling disrespected.” As a good friend, you mention that you are trying to understand “what they are feeling” and “attempting to work through these complex dynamics”. These “feelings” leave a wide opening for possible events that made the Canadians feel this way. I am surmising here, but I imagine that they communicated specifics to you.
Living in Europe for many years, I have heard it all and sometimes feel like the American punching bag for my European friends to unload their frustrations about American policies. Right or wrong, they are usually very clear in communicating the negative impact these actions have on their countries. At least in my case, these friends are feeling anger, more than hurt and feeling disregarded more than, disrespected.
Let us remember that Europeans lived through the ravages of WWl and WWll on their soil.
The Americans were there to help them back then. To this day the old timers have a very strong allegiance to America for saving them and funding the rebuilding of their countries and their economies.
Today that sentiment has changed and Europeans are wondering what happened to the leadership of America of the 50’s and 60’s. Europeans have surpassed America with longevity, education, personal wealth and quality of life for the middle class. Now they are losing that too and are trying to find a beacon of light of leadership once again.
So in this case, my discussions with these friends take a very different tone, first creating bridges where Americans are sharing their same concerns, then moving forward from there, discussing what we can improve together.
So back to the Canadians and how to respond?
As you wisely mentioned Scott, as Americans, (Heroes) we must be prepared to respond to foreigners, and fellow Americans with the goal of inspiring both parties to take responsibility to solve problems together.
From a Heroic point of view, our tools to accomplish this are reflection and radical listening to better understand exactly where the feelings of hurt or anger are coming from. It seems like you have already dedicated the time to do that, so the question still remains: “Why are your Canadian friends feeling hurt?”
Is it only due to Trump’s bad manners or does it go beyond that? I’ll assume that your blog was written to respond to deeper conversations that took place with your friends revolving around specific U.S. policies that would have a negative impact on the Canadian economy, such as tariffs and Canadian sovereignty, (not becoming the 51st state of America.) etc.etc.
The Blog’s main message/response to Canadians
The core message was clear and precise: Americans have publicly been funding military and economic initiatives, with very impressive numbers showing the U.S.’s financial commitment to facilitate and protect global trade. America has have taken the global lead to subsidize other countries with expenditures falling disproportionally on American taxpayers.
Without knowing the underlying concerns of your Canadian friends, I wonder if the main message of this blog, America helping Canada (and the world) more than they help us, would inspire Canadians to want to work closer with America.
As Americans, dare I say, as Heroes, we are taking steps to be sparks in the darkness for ourselves, our families, friends and the world. As you mentioned, it is a complex dynamic.
In front of criticism, we are not standing up as heads of state or heads of military. As heroes, we are humans standing up for core virtues/values that lead everything and everyone back in the right direction, towards flourishing.
The foundation of Stoicism is to change what is within our power, and you are a great example of that Scott. By founding HeroicAZ, and the community you are building, is a true example of Heroic Leadership.
I can only guess that your direct actions to create flourishing communities impact your Canadian friends much more than reminding them how much America has done for them. With Heroic you are WALKING THE TALK. Nothing comes close to that in influencing others. American presidents and policies will come and go and none will make a positive impact proportionally on a larger scale than you are doing on an individual scale. None! They are not working under Heroic virtues and the “Big 3”.
So the responsibility falls on our shoulders, as individuals to clean up the mess from the ground up. That is what you are doing Scott!
With your Canadian friends, maybe they are not ready for Heroic and the “Big 3”. There might have been a different way to approach the topic; re-establish the foundation of Heroic principles, first and foremost. Then, with the participation of your Canadian friends, jointly evaluate how close Canadian polices and American policies are in line with those principles.
Are the present “leaders” in line with those principles? Are your friends in line with those principles?
IF the friends themselves are not open to change, how can they criticize leaders who are not open to change?
In this case, maybe silence and just listening is the stoic way to handle it, to keep the door open. The good ones will always come back.
CONCLUSION:
Only a BIG THANK YOU SCOTT, for bringing your heart, wisdom and dedication to HeroicAZ and all of us.
Deborah
